We both celebrated and grieved this weekend - celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, and, the same day, grieved the loss of my favorite uncle, Uncle Walter. Walter died early in the morning of August 29th, after an 8+ month battle with cancer that was really nothing short of heroic bvased on his initial prognosis. He will be sorely missed by our entire family.
A few things about our anniversary. First, I am truly shocked and amazed that it has been ten years since Brad and I walked down the aisle. Time has flown by, and in the blink of an eye since I found myself planning blue hydrangea flower arrangements, silver seashell sugar scoop favors, and rehearsal dinner on the Pilgrim Belle, suddenly three kids (not even babies!) have emerged and I find myself 35 and married, now, to the man who has become both my best friend and a better father than I could ever have imagined. So I'm taking stock, and here are some of the highlights and changes since we married 10 years ago:
- We have finished 3 degrees between us: Brad his bachelors, and me two Masters degrees;
- We have visited 12 different countries - and lived in two (including the US);
- We have lived in 5 different apartments/homes, in 3 states, and have purchased 4 homes (we've sold all but one, of course! Not keeping residences in every state, LOL!)
- We have worked for only 2 companies between us during our entire marriage: Unilever for me (9 years on August 29th!) and NSSC for Brad (11 years this past June);
- We have had three beautiful (in my very biased opinion) children;
- And sadly, we have lost 6 of our closest family members: Brad's mother and father; our niece, Stephanie; my Nan; my grandfather on my mother's side, and now Uncle Walter.
So lots has gone on in 10 years. Most of it has been fantastic, and I wouldn't change any of it. So to Brad, Happy Anniversary, to my best friend and forever partner.
Each year on our wedding anniversary I pull out the wedding video that Aunt Joyce and Uncle Walter had made for us as a wedding gift, and I reminisce. I adored our wedding day, adored the man I was marrying (though looking back, we both looked more like kids and it seems somewhat silly to call that very much younger Brad a man!) and thought it all turned our perfectly. But now, I am so thankful I have that wedding video to look back on, particularly to see the loved ones that we've lost. To see a close-up of my mother-in-law again, and see her dancing with Brad - and be able to share that with the girls, who never had a chance to meet her - is really, truly priceless. It brings tears to my eyes to see my Nan, and Brad's father, and Steph...and now Walter. But I'm so happy to have had such a beautiful day with all of them, and to be able to see them again.
The 29th is now also the day that Uncle Walter passed away, and so in the spirit of remembering him, I just want to post a couple of thoughts. Walter was one of the kindest, gentlest guys you could ever meet. What I enjoyed most about him was the fact that at every holiday get together, every meal or visit with the family, he would always want to sit down and talk - really talk - to me. He asked so many great, thinking type of questions, and more importantly, he actually listened to the answers. Maybe not a big deal now, but as a teenager that seems like a novelty! Walter was always the one who remembered what was going on in school, or what you were thinking about majoring in, or what you had coming up in life that was making you nervous. For that alone, he was someone you could really feel close to. A great listener, and also a great advice giver - particularly when it came to educational matters, since he worked in the school system. We gave Uncle Walter more than his fair share of ribbing for all the countless hours (days?) he spent behind that big clunky dinosaur of a video camera, but his narration was always a hit and now more than ever, I'm sure we will be happy to have the memories that he helped to capture and create.
R.I.P. Uncle Walter...until we meet again.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Confessions of a Crazy 1st-Kid-in-School Mom
Yesterday was the big day: Madelyn's first day of kindergarten! To be totally honest, I wasn't really all that well-prepared. Despite the fact that I've had, you know, 5.5 years to prepare or so. But between the move, the vacation so close to the start of school, etc., I just didn't quite have all my ducks in row - either mentally or in terms of physical gear. The physical gear wasn't such a big issue; after all, I figured that if they decide to tell you a day and a half in advance that the kids can't wear open toe shoes in the 98 degree weather (and half of your life happens to be in boxes), it surely can't be a horrific violation to have to make do with sandals for the first day until you can track down some shoes. But as for the mental piece, that's a different story.
My sweet Madelyn was SO excited to go to school. She picked out her outfit - a special dress bought by Grammy on their back to school shopping trip together - and got herself right up and dressed, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and was practically skipping to get to the car. On the drive to school, I asked her if she was excited. She responded immediately, "YES! I've been waiting for this for a WHOLE YEAR!" and could barely contain herself. For the first day, I was allowed to walk her down to her classroom to meet her teacher; but parents were not allowed into the classroom, for fear that it causes greater separation issues. Maddie eagerly sat down with her classmates in the hall, said hello to her teacher, and waved goodbye to me with a loud, "See you later Mom!!"
I'm not one who cries easily, and call me unsentimental, but I didn't cry yesterday either, really. I felt a bit of a sting in the corner of my eyes as I walked out, but the bigger feeling was one of having just been sucker punched right in the gut. I just felt this huge wall of anxiety - this awful feeling that I was leaving my baby, my firstborn, with these total strangers. These people that were now telling me that she would have to be dropped off in the car lane (no parents in the school afer week 1, please!)...would have to buy her own milk at lunch...would be registered as tardy after the late bell rang at 7:45 (seriously? my little BABY?)...would have to gather up all of her own things, and deal with her own issues, and spend a whopping 7 hours a day completely out of my care. And after the wall of anxiety hit, and the teariness had passed, I just kind of got ticked off about the whole thing. Just a little indignant - if irrational - feeling that I just forked over my baby's childhood at the door. And truly, I've been a little bit depressed ever since.
I'd like to say that Madelyn had a great first day and so I feel a whole lot better about school now. But when Brad picked her up, she got in and said school was fun, but that a little girl had told her she was "the rudest little creature ever!" Madelyn, who is honest to a fault when it comes to relaying incidents like this, was completely shocked as she didn't know the child's name, hadn't even spoken to her, and was simply standing next to her at her cubby. This is her version of the story, and I really do believe her. So Madelyn, who is not shy about standing up for herself (thank goodness! It's my mission to raise strong, self-confident girls!), said "Hey, that's not nice to say!" The little girl replied with a bratty, "YES IT IS!" and Maddie again said, "NO, it's not!" So the girl said again, "Well, you're still the rudest little creature EVER!" So needless to say, Maddie shook it off - but she's the kind of kid who will think about it over and over, and wonder why it happened, what she could have done, etc. Not that that's like her mother, or anything... So she was really bothered by it and we had to do a lot of talking about it last night, and a lot of hugging. Fortunately, she was still looking forward to going today.
This same little girl caused another issue for Madelyn today, when she apparently laughted at Madelyn's nose. Maddie asked her to please note laugh at her, and explained that she had fallen and hit her nose jumping on the bed while we were on vacation a few weeks ago. Truthfully there's nothing left of the injury, but she did get a bit of a sunburn on the tip of her nose the other day where the scab had come off. I'm happy to be raising a kid who (in my opinion) handled both of these situations ok, but I hope this isn't the start of some bully type issues this year.
Add that to the fact that I'm just not getting warm fuzzy feelings from her teacher, and I'm feeling a little less than excited about school. I'm trying to hold off judgement until after the first week, at least. But I really do miss my girl terribly during the day, even while I'm working, and wish I could be there to help her get through all that is new and different in life right now. She loves school by default, so let's hope her bubbly enthusiasm and generally excited disposition returns soon. Of course all moms just want their kids to be happy - and I'm certainly no exception!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Vacay!
Ahhh….vacation!! That about sums up how I’m feeling right now. There’s just no substitute for the relaxed, sleepy feel of sun, sand, and a fantastic beach vacation. I feel like we’re all getting a much-needed reset, after a completely crazy couple (ok, more than a couple?) months of prepping the house to sell, putting it on the market, moving, finding a new house, starting a new job, etc. We can handle the stress – but it’s oh so nice to unwind. And for me, just so nice to leave the corporate world behind for a week and spend quality time with the family.
We haven’t done anything particular exciting this week; our days have been filled with making sandcastles, swimming in the pool, jumping in the waves, taking decently long naps, and getting to know the cousins over family dinners and walks on the beach. I say “getting to know” the cousins because these days, we manage about one trip a year to see the H side of the family; so really the kids do need to get to know each other from year to year. But this is the second year in a row we have come to (gorgeous!) Atlantic Beach – and Maddie’s third trip here – and having memories from year to year is definitely proving to be nice for building relationships with Brad’s side of the family.
But even though we’re doing the same activities from day to day, it’s nice to see how things change… over the course of the week, Maddie has gone from using a lifejacket part of the time to going without about 90% of the time in the pool. She’s doggie paddling from one end of the pool to the other, working on perfecting her underwater somersault, and getting more confident by the day. Sienna and Lyla are motoring all around the pool with their floaties; arm swimmies have been a sanity saver with Lyla, who insists on doing everything in the pool herself even though she really can’t swim yet. The sandcastle skills are really getting honed, and the two older kids have gotten fairly brave with the waves and are now enjoying bobbing up and down in the surf with lifejackets on and Mom or Dad nearby.
More to come, but the pool is calling… it’s really too bad vacation can’t last forever!
We haven’t done anything particular exciting this week; our days have been filled with making sandcastles, swimming in the pool, jumping in the waves, taking decently long naps, and getting to know the cousins over family dinners and walks on the beach. I say “getting to know” the cousins because these days, we manage about one trip a year to see the H side of the family; so really the kids do need to get to know each other from year to year. But this is the second year in a row we have come to (gorgeous!) Atlantic Beach – and Maddie’s third trip here – and having memories from year to year is definitely proving to be nice for building relationships with Brad’s side of the family.
But even though we’re doing the same activities from day to day, it’s nice to see how things change… over the course of the week, Maddie has gone from using a lifejacket part of the time to going without about 90% of the time in the pool. She’s doggie paddling from one end of the pool to the other, working on perfecting her underwater somersault, and getting more confident by the day. Sienna and Lyla are motoring all around the pool with their floaties; arm swimmies have been a sanity saver with Lyla, who insists on doing everything in the pool herself even though she really can’t swim yet. The sandcastle skills are really getting honed, and the two older kids have gotten fairly brave with the waves and are now enjoying bobbing up and down in the surf with lifejackets on and Mom or Dad nearby.
More to come, but the pool is calling… it’s really too bad vacation can’t last forever!
Catching Up
So…I’ve been MIA for a bit due to a whole lot of activity going on here in the H household. Since I last posted, I went on a business trip to Chicago, we closed on the new house, and we headed out on vacation. The last item, of course, being the most important!
We’re currently in Atlantic Beach, North Carolina, completely enjoying our vacation. We’re here with Brad’s two sisters, Melissa and Darlene, and their respective families. None too small a group, since there are a lot of cousins between our three families! But first things first…
The house closing went off without too much of a hitch. Other than the previous owners not being completely moved out by the time of closing (what the heck??!) and then asking if their two cats could spend the night after our closing in the garage (again, WHAT?!?), things went as planned. We did discover in our final walk-through that we need to replace all of the carpet, pretty much, which is a bummer. But I have developed a pretty intense allergy to cats over the past few years, and we had no idea they had two of them. That’s what happens when you house hunt from 1,600 miles away, I guess, and spend a total of 15 minutes at a time looking at your future new home. But now that we’ve spent some time in there, I’m DYING. Add to it the big stains that were revealed when they moved their furniture, and it’s pretty much a necessity to replace the carpets. Sigh.
The night after we closed, we brought the kids over for picnic pizza and their first swim in the pool. So much fun! We pulled up a spot on the kitchen floor and brought out the paper plates, then headed for a dip. The kids thought it was all very exciting to be picnicking (sp?) on the floor in the new house with no furniture, and Madelyn took all of about 20 minutes to get up enough courage to jump off the diving board in her lifejacket. They went back and forth between the pool and the fantastic new playhouse, which is seriously as sweet as any toddler/preschooler could want. Maddie is all excited about decorating it inside, which I think it just too cute. Guess she’s got a bit of Martha Stewart in her…so we’ll see what she comes up with! Move-in date is the 11th.
We’re currently in Atlantic Beach, North Carolina, completely enjoying our vacation. We’re here with Brad’s two sisters, Melissa and Darlene, and their respective families. None too small a group, since there are a lot of cousins between our three families! But first things first…
The house closing went off without too much of a hitch. Other than the previous owners not being completely moved out by the time of closing (what the heck??!) and then asking if their two cats could spend the night after our closing in the garage (again, WHAT?!?), things went as planned. We did discover in our final walk-through that we need to replace all of the carpet, pretty much, which is a bummer. But I have developed a pretty intense allergy to cats over the past few years, and we had no idea they had two of them. That’s what happens when you house hunt from 1,600 miles away, I guess, and spend a total of 15 minutes at a time looking at your future new home. But now that we’ve spent some time in there, I’m DYING. Add to it the big stains that were revealed when they moved their furniture, and it’s pretty much a necessity to replace the carpets. Sigh.
The night after we closed, we brought the kids over for picnic pizza and their first swim in the pool. So much fun! We pulled up a spot on the kitchen floor and brought out the paper plates, then headed for a dip. The kids thought it was all very exciting to be picnicking (sp?) on the floor in the new house with no furniture, and Madelyn took all of about 20 minutes to get up enough courage to jump off the diving board in her lifejacket. They went back and forth between the pool and the fantastic new playhouse, which is seriously as sweet as any toddler/preschooler could want. Maddie is all excited about decorating it inside, which I think it just too cute. Guess she’s got a bit of Martha Stewart in her…so we’ll see what she comes up with! Move-in date is the 11th.
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