Monday, August 31, 2009

Love and Loss

We both celebrated and grieved this weekend - celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, and, the same day, grieved the loss of my favorite uncle, Uncle Walter. Walter died early in the morning of August 29th, after an 8+ month battle with cancer that was really nothing short of heroic bvased on his initial prognosis. He will be sorely missed by our entire family.

A few things about our anniversary. First, I am truly shocked and amazed that it has been ten years since Brad and I walked down the aisle. Time has flown by, and in the blink of an eye since I found myself planning blue hydrangea flower arrangements, silver seashell sugar scoop favors, and rehearsal dinner on the Pilgrim Belle, suddenly three kids (not even babies!) have emerged and I find myself 35 and married, now, to the man who has become both my best friend and a better father than I could ever have imagined. So I'm taking stock, and here are some of the highlights and changes since we married 10 years ago:

- We have finished 3 degrees between us: Brad his bachelors, and me two Masters degrees;
- We have visited 12 different countries - and lived in two (including the US);
- We have lived in 5 different apartments/homes, in 3 states, and have purchased 4 homes (we've sold all but one, of course! Not keeping residences in every state, LOL!)
- We have worked for only 2 companies between us during our entire marriage: Unilever for me (9 years on August 29th!) and NSSC for Brad (11 years this past June);
- We have had three beautiful (in my very biased opinion) children;
- And sadly, we have lost 6 of our closest family members: Brad's mother and father; our niece, Stephanie; my Nan; my grandfather on my mother's side, and now Uncle Walter.

So lots has gone on in 10 years. Most of it has been fantastic, and I wouldn't change any of it. So to Brad, Happy Anniversary, to my best friend and forever partner.

Each year on our wedding anniversary I pull out the wedding video that Aunt Joyce and Uncle Walter had made for us as a wedding gift, and I reminisce. I adored our wedding day, adored the man I was marrying (though looking back, we both looked more like kids and it seems somewhat silly to call that very much younger Brad a man!) and thought it all turned our perfectly. But now, I am so thankful I have that wedding video to look back on, particularly to see the loved ones that we've lost. To see a close-up of my mother-in-law again, and see her dancing with Brad - and be able to share that with the girls, who never had a chance to meet her - is really, truly priceless. It brings tears to my eyes to see my Nan, and Brad's father, and Steph...and now Walter. But I'm so happy to have had such a beautiful day with all of them, and to be able to see them again.

The 29th is now also the day that Uncle Walter passed away, and so in the spirit of remembering him, I just want to post a couple of thoughts. Walter was one of the kindest, gentlest guys you could ever meet. What I enjoyed most about him was the fact that at every holiday get together, every meal or visit with the family, he would always want to sit down and talk - really talk - to me. He asked so many great, thinking type of questions, and more importantly, he actually listened to the answers. Maybe not a big deal now, but as a teenager that seems like a novelty! Walter was always the one who remembered what was going on in school, or what you were thinking about majoring in, or what you had coming up in life that was making you nervous. For that alone, he was someone you could really feel close to. A great listener, and also a great advice giver - particularly when it came to educational matters, since he worked in the school system. We gave Uncle Walter more than his fair share of ribbing for all the countless hours (days?) he spent behind that big clunky dinosaur of a video camera, but his narration was always a hit and now more than ever, I'm sure we will be happy to have the memories that he helped to capture and create.

R.I.P. Uncle Walter...until we meet again.

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