Love and Loss

We both celebrated and grieved this weekend - celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, and, the same day, grieved the loss of my favorite uncle, Uncle Walter. Walter died early in the morning of August 29th, after an 8+ month battle with cancer that was really nothing short of heroic bvased on his initial prognosis. He will be sorely missed by our entire family.

A few things about our anniversary. First, I am truly shocked and amazed that it has been ten years since Brad and I walked down the aisle. Time has flown by, and in the blink of an eye since I found myself planning blue hydrangea flower arrangements, silver seashell sugar scoop favors, and rehearsal dinner on the Pilgrim Belle, suddenly three kids (not even babies!) have emerged and I find myself 35 and married, now, to the man who has become both my best friend and a better father than I could ever have imagined. So I'm taking stock, and here are some of the highlights and changes since we married 10 years ago:

- We have finished 3 degrees between us: Brad his bachelors, and me two Masters degrees;
- We have visited 12 different countries - and lived in two (including the US);
- We have lived in 5 different apartments/homes, in 3 states, and have purchased 4 homes (we've sold all but one, of course! Not keeping residences in every state, LOL!)
- We have worked for only 2 companies between us during our entire marriage: Unilever for me (9 years on August 29th!) and NSSC for Brad (11 years this past June);
- We have had three beautiful (in my very biased opinion) children;
- And sadly, we have lost 6 of our closest family members: Brad's mother and father; our niece, Stephanie; my Nan; my grandfather on my mother's side, and now Uncle Walter.

So lots has gone on in 10 years. Most of it has been fantastic, and I wouldn't change any of it. So to Brad, Happy Anniversary, to my best friend and forever partner.

Each year on our wedding anniversary I pull out the wedding video that Aunt Joyce and Uncle Walter had made for us as a wedding gift, and I reminisce. I adored our wedding day, adored the man I was marrying (though looking back, we both looked more like kids and it seems somewhat silly to call that very much younger Brad a man!) and thought it all turned our perfectly. But now, I am so thankful I have that wedding video to look back on, particularly to see the loved ones that we've lost. To see a close-up of my mother-in-law again, and see her dancing with Brad - and be able to share that with the girls, who never had a chance to meet her - is really, truly priceless. It brings tears to my eyes to see my Nan, and Brad's father, and Steph...and now Walter. But I'm so happy to have had such a beautiful day with all of them, and to be able to see them again.

The 29th is now also the day that Uncle Walter passed away, and so in the spirit of remembering him, I just want to post a couple of thoughts. Walter was one of the kindest, gentlest guys you could ever meet. What I enjoyed most about him was the fact that at every holiday get together, every meal or visit with the family, he would always want to sit down and talk - really talk - to me. He asked so many great, thinking type of questions, and more importantly, he actually listened to the answers. Maybe not a big deal now, but as a teenager that seems like a novelty! Walter was always the one who remembered what was going on in school, or what you were thinking about majoring in, or what you had coming up in life that was making you nervous. For that alone, he was someone you could really feel close to. A great listener, and also a great advice giver - particularly when it came to educational matters, since he worked in the school system. We gave Uncle Walter more than his fair share of ribbing for all the countless hours (days?) he spent behind that big clunky dinosaur of a video camera, but his narration was always a hit and now more than ever, I'm sure we will be happy to have the memories that he helped to capture and create.

R.I.P. Uncle Walter...until we meet again.

Random Updates...

• I recently discovered that I have grown a half inch since sometime in my early twenties when I had my height checked last. Seriously! I'm now a full-on (slightly over, even!) 5'1" tall woman! Measured and confirmed for my life insurance application. Crazy stuff. But dang, I will definitely take that half inch!
• Driving home from Target today, Maddie said, "Mom, are daddy caregivers better than mommy caregivers?" Taken aback (and buying time to figure out my response), I asked her what made her ask that question. "Well, in the Cinderella story, there is only a daddy caregiver. And he wants to find a mommy caregiver for her. So I want to know if that means that mommies are better caregivers than daddies?" Two observations about this: 1) I was very impressed with her deductive reasoning on this one, I have to admit. It was a bit of a proud mommy moment for me, both because I think this is a very logical - yet complex - conclusion to have drawn and a very insightful question, and also because her vocabulary is truly HUGE these days. Caregiver might not be the best example of this, but it's decent. She's forever coming out with big words that surprise me. 2) We are a very lucky family. While I may think we are different caregivers, there's no way on earth I could ever say that I think I'm a better caregiver than Brad. As a parent, he just rocks. I'm thankful we're a great team, and that our kids get the benefit of that.
• I'm really worn out from several nights of very bad sleep in our household. Every time I think we should be past middle of the night wakeup calls from toddlers, another one happens. Last night, Lyla was awake and climbing around in my bed for several hours. Since Brad had to get up at 3:30 AM for a business trip, this was just double torture. Here's to a better night tonight...

It's time to revive the blog...

I'm feeling like writing lately. So much change, so much going on in our little family's lives. So far from many of our family and friends, too! So the blog is making a comeback.

We're now officially residents of Arkansas. Certainly nothing I ever thought I would write, but there it is. We've had so many mixed feelings about moving, but while we are sad to leave family and friends, we are looking forward to a new adventure. I guess I can't totally speak for Brad, but I think both of us feel somewhat proud of the fact that we are instilling a sense of adventure in our girls, and that we encourage them to seek new experiences, to have courage to do something new and different even when it makes you slightly uncomfortable. To meet new and different people in different parts of the world. These are important things, in my mind. It's good to learn them young.

The move itself was difficult. Brad and I really underestimated how much work would be involved on our part, even though we had movers there to do most of the packing. Since we hadn't yet bought a house yet, we knew we were headed to temporary housing for at least a month. This presented some packing challenges: we needed to pack for several days at my parents' house while the packing/moving rendered our house virtually unusable (the kitchen was the first room to get packed - yikes!); we needed suitcases for all of us for the first week we'll be in Arkansas, before our moving truck arrives; we needed boxes packed with temporary housing items, for the first 30-60 days here in a rental home; and then finally, everything else. Not an insignificant amount of organizing and packing there! We also had TONS of stuff that needed to be taken to the transfer station, etc., which mostly consisted of old toys and cardboard boxes from our last move that could not be used again. Thank goodness for the help of my fantastic parents. My mom watched the kids and spent some quality time with them before the move which allowed us to work at the house until all hours of the night; and my dad brought over his truck and helped haul a whole lot of junk to the transfer station.

Mid-way through day three, while the massive 53' moving van was being loaded (they estimated 23,000 pounds of household goods!), an intense thunder storm arrived which sent everyone running. There was literally a river running directly into the moving truck from the sideways driving rain, so the movers had no choice but to close up the doors and put the loading on hold. Despite the setback, the crew managed to be loaded and out by around 5 PM. I can't say enough about our crew -- they were friendly, efficient, and, well just plain good! I would recommend Humboldt (a division of United Van Lines) out of Canton, MA to anyone who needs a mover in Massachusetts.

They say that a house does not make a home, and I definitely think that's true. But I will say that I had plenty of teary moments packing up and leaving this house. This is the house that our oldest two kids have really developed their little personalities in, and become more independent in. And obviously this is the house that brought us sweet, beautiful Lyla - our favorite surprise. We've got some fantastic memories of great times with family, three little dancers putting on shows and giggles for us, and of course working at home and being able to be a strong presence every day, despite having a full-time job. So we don't leave this place lightly. But at the same time, I think we've got a lot of great new memories that lie ahead in Northwest Arkansas.

Here's to a new year!

Happy 2008! I missed posting on January 1st by a few minutes, but have been reflecting the past couple of days on what my resolutions for the year should be. I'm so-so when it comes to keeping my resolutions. I pretty much never forget about them during the year, but I definitely go back and forth between really keeping them and just totally ignoring them. Still, I do think that the first of the year is a great time to set some goals for yourself, try to frame up what you want the year to be all about , what you'd like to accomplish, etc. So with that in mind, here are a few I've come up with:

- Getting and staying fit. I've been on a diet/weight loss/exercise kick for a while now, and am just about at my goal. But now that I've lost a decent amount of weight, I really want to get in great shape. Brad gave me a number of things for Christmas to help me keep up with my exercise at home (things I asked for!), so I have no excuse. My motto: "Fab shape in '08!"

- Planning meals in advance, and eating together as a family. This is a tough one for me -- three young kids at dinner time can really make it difficult, if not next to impossible, to find something we can all sit down, eat together, and actually like. Add to that the fact that we both work full time and 5-7 PM is sort of the crazy time in our household, and it gets even more difficult. But Maddie has really been into the idea of us all eating together lately, and I don't have any good explanations for her as to why I can't make that happen. So this is one I will make happen this year. I also want to be better at planning more effective grocery shopping trips, so having meals planned out in advance should definitely help.

- Having more patience to get through the toddler/preschool phases the kids seem to continuously throw my way. I don't really know if this one is a resolution, or a plea for a total personality change on my part, LOL! It falls into the category of annoying resolutions for me, because it's very vague and hard to put an actual plan behind. But it's something I'm going to work on.

- Visiting a financial planner and getting a solid plan in place for retirement, college savings, etc. Having just turned 34, I'm thinking it's time for a bit of a "master plan," so to speak. No more flying by the seat of our pants! Honestly, even the thought of paying for three weddings has been freaking me out lately! (And will that even be in any way customary by the time my girls get married? Not even sure how I feel about paying for their weddings, but it's just one of the many expenses I know *could* be on the horizon.)

So there you have it. I'm hoping that by "writing" them out here, I'll have to hold myself accountable a little bit. Stay tuned... I'll report back my progress next year.

She's FOUR!

Happy 4th Birthday Madelyn!!

It's birthday time in our house, and today was #2...I can't believe it has been four years since I gave birth to Madelyn, and since we first became parents. It's so weird to have this actual child in our house now...it seems like we just yesterday decided to have children, and now we're already out of the baby and toddler phase with our oldest, and she's 4 going on about 14!

Four years ago today, we were in a hospital in Chicago gazing with absolute wonder at our new addition, wondering what this little person would be like, and how on earth we would ever learn the ropes of parenting. It's funny, but most days I think we still look at her in absolute wonder...and I think we still wonder how we're ever going to REALLY get the hang of this parenting thing! LOL!

Seriously though, here is a picture of Maddie today on her fourth birthday. We're having a combined party for the girls next week, but we wanted to make each of their actual birthday days special. So today, we began the day with presents and special birthday pancakes shaped like hearts and flowers. Maddie got her turn as "princess for the day" and had fun wearing the tiara I bought for the event. I think it was hard for her to watch Sienna wearing it the other day - she kept saying she wanted her birthday to be first! It was no consolation to her that hers was technically "first" given that she was born two years prior to Sienna. I was really happy that her big gift - a Fisher Price Kid Tough digital camera - was a huge hit, and she was so incredibly excited to be taking her own pics with a "REAL" camera (which she kept repeating as if she couldn't believe it!).

After helping me put up Christmas decorations (one of Maddie's favorite activities!), we took the kids outside briefly...it was only 22 degrees, BRR!!! and then headed out to do some errands. While bending over and rummaging oh so gracefully through the kids' coat closet to get Lyla's hat and mittens, I hear a loud "CLICK" and knew instantly that my butt had been permanently memorialized on Maddie's new camera. She thought it was hysterical and went around hooting with laughter and showing it off proudly to Daddy. Nice one, Mads!

We ended up stopping by my parents' house for a nice visit, and my mom had set up a cute little celebration for both Maddie and Sienna with birthday gifts and a little cake candle. So cute! The kids were thrilled and it was a nice end to the weekend. (Thanks Mom & Dad!)

Birthday Girl

Happy 2nd Birthday Sienna!!

It's so amazingly hard to believe that two years ago today, we were welcoming little Sienna into the world! Time has gone by so fast, but at the same time it's fun to think back on the millions of laughs and smiles we've had since her arrival. Taking a trip down memory lane, here is a pic of Sienna on her birth day... and today, two years later! She's such a funny, loveable kid -- I feel so lucky to have her!

8 Years Ago (yesterday)...

This is what Brad and I were doing:



OMG, can you believe how young we look?? Thanks to my Aunt Joyce (who I know reads from time to time), we have a fantastic wedding video to remember the day by...and this is the last couple of minutes of the video, that the videographer set to music and turned black & white. So much has changed in 8 years - the most obvious of which is the three amazing little girls we've added to our family. But one thing that hasn't changed is that I still think Brad's the greatest guy around, and I love him to pieces. I'm looking forward to many more years together.

One year ago...

I just realized that it was a year ago this past week that we moved to Massachusetts. Honestly, I can't possibly get my head around the idea that it has been a whole year since we totally uprooted after 10 years in Chicago. Where does time go?

It's crazy to think that in the span of a year, we have...Moved 1,000 miles across the country. Endured 6 painful months of owning two houses...but managed to survive it ok, LOL. Found out we were pregnant. Had another baby (I'm STILL surprised by that one!) Painted 10 rooms. Only two left to go! Finished Maddie's first year of preschool. Watched Sienna turn into a walking, talking, thinking little toddler.

ACK! How does a whole year go by that quickly?